The hall was littered with broken dreams and shattered concrete Aug 14, 2011
I brush some more of the glittering grey goop off of my legs, but it's no use. Now that it's melted it's impossible to get it all off. If I'd have come to quicker, I would have broken off every piece and been done with it hours ago. Nothing to do now but sit and tough it through.
how did she arrive? like a leaf on the wind, suddenly dewglued to my skin
back in the room where i tell her she can stay, she says hug me
and she is warm and soft, and i am lost in her neck
she is blond with her four inch hair worn recklessly
(i can't tell if she woke up that way or not)
, a white tank top and a broad smile, always borrowing my pants
she moves through the room like a butterfly
talking to the others (i can't hear for the vision of her)
and only just out the door she sees me and says oh hey. going to get bagels.
and sinks my jealous heart
The pain in my limbs is getting worse. I try to think it away, but the stuff is giving me clear visions of the tiny silver fibers coursing through my capillaries. Moving makes it worse, so I've been sitting still and lowering my heart rate. Moonlight is creeping down the wall, shaped in the squares and jagged lines of the remaining glass windows, as the moon rises on the other side of the wall.
does the moon know that it carved the earth's oceans?
is that even true, i wonder while walking downtown.
the tour bus passes and a woman across the way up in an apartment window
sits in pajamas looking down with one hand on her chin.
we skip along the sidewalk, slipping on the street grime
and bit of rain from earlier this morning.
around the corner bagel shop, the hill looms near vertical.
the steps are useless at this gradient and the railing slippery,
carefully grasping the next crevice or cemented metal handle,
she is hanging beneath me, laughing,
and at the top, a loose rebar is all i can use to pull myself over
The pain gets worse the harder I maintain my grasp on reality. Breaking free of the coma induced by encasement in frozen dream gel was the easy part. It's the waking visions which are difficult to navigate. The last time someone had the audacity to attack me in my house, I set him at the base of the spine of the world in a rotating chamber of skinpiercer vermin and restorative lichen.
in dreams, like music, i find i have to be careful not to become lost.
if i grasp in dreams, i wake grasping.
it can be days before the vision passes and i see the world plainly again.
she came to the door one morning with a fresh loaf of bread and said
i found somebody else. oh hey. here's your favorite pair of pants.
i don't need them anymore.
When I am done with this I am going to stand up and walk down this hallway, out the front door and onto the grass. I am going to close my eyes and search the darkness for my attacker. And when I locate you, I will wring the mercy from my hands and reclaim what you took.